all i want to do

dear diary,
i really need some guidance right now. tonight's been an emotional roller coaster. its a long story, so i'll try to make it short.
it all started this morning up on blackcomb (im at my condo in whistler right now, in case you didnt know). i was stuck in the flats when this fat bitch on skiis didnt know what the eff she was doing and crashed right into me. i was thinking about what a noob i looked like when a young brad pitt rode up and started helping me (im kidding about the brad pitt thing, but trust me he was hot). anyway, we rode together for awhile and talked. he didnt have much to say, but i had plenty. hes just the strong silent type. his name is hawk, by the way. i dont really know how to spell that, i'm pretty sure he's armenian. anyway, we got to the park and as it turns out, he cant even do a full 360. off anything. i'm pretty sure he couldnt even do it on the ground. he was all talk (or not but you know what i mean).
so then i tried to get away, but he wouldnt leave me alone. i didnt want to be seen riding with him. i finally lost him but guess what diary? i'd already given him my digits!!

so later, i'm hot tubbing and he calls and wants to kick it. i was torn. i mean on one hand, he's a total wannabe, but on the other hand he's so hot. whatever. in the end, he said one of his friends worked at this bar and would get me in, even though i'm not 19. i couldnt pass that up, duh, so i went with him.

i didn't even get that drunk. like a few shots. like 3 shots max. i dont actually remember. anyway. hawk wanted me to go to the bathroom with him and "have some real fun", as he put it. so things went from there. i dont really feel like dishing all the deets right now. anyway, in the end some bitch that worked there found us and kicked me out for being underage. hawk didnt even walk me back to the condo. i slipped on the ice, and when i got back i tried to make some food and started a little fire in the kitchen. no biggie, seriously, but my parents went nuclear.
i just feel really empty and used right now, but c'est la vie right?