not gonna lie this song is kind of autobiographical for me.......
anywayz WHOO im havin some trouble keepin up with mah journal entries lately just cause my life is so BORINGGG. in fact its kind of a shitshow at this point. hmmmm lets see its currently raining outside....i keep track of the precipitation level in a bucket in my backyard, its rained 3 feet since 4am this morning. SIKE but seriously im SICK OF IT.
im ready for some heat. like upper 90s would be preferable.
earlier: lunch at volunteer park cafe with leah and louisa. nutella strawberry panini and hazelnut chevre salad.
later: international student supplement for UBC.
later than that: degrassi, america's next top model, mystery diagnosis.
now: bloggin. bout to clean BIG TIME. i want to cleanse my soul/physical space of all material possessions.
later than now: gym. b&o with stephanie and lizzie. im wanting/needing some coffee and they have those valencia lattes.
K MY LIFE IS MONOTONOUS. tv, homework, food, weather, this is all so basic.
you see why stephanie and i exagerrated on our journal entries last year mr hawk????
Thursday, April 2, 2009
fashion mistakes i have made in the past:
-blue eyeliner
-hot pink and navy striped arm warmers
-eyebrow piercing
-dark burgundy eggplant almost black hair that was supposed to be red
-a lavender diesel vest that i paid almost 200 dollars for and wore twice
-a braided embroidery floss necklace with a pop can tab that came off on "d", for deryck whibley from sum41
-jeans with lyrics written on them in black sharpie
-a "brunettes have more fun" tshirt
-a black and white l.a.m.b. jacket that my mom paid almost 300 dollars for on my birthday, i couldnt pull it off, and still cant, but i wear it sometimes just because i feel so guilty
-a white diesel puffy coat that my mom paid almost 300 dollars for at christmas. by january the sleeves were covered with black smudges from resting my arms on the desks at school
-a cut off denim skirt over leggings
-a pink off the shoulder abercrombie shirt with a stretchy black knee length skirt and white plastic old navy flip flops. i wore this outfit to the bal harbour shops in miami where my mom paid almost 200 dollars for a sleeveless watermelon lacoste polo dress that was 2 sizes too big and i wore twice
-an eastern washington university letterman jacket that my sister found at red light
-one of those fake like 1978 world tour ramones tshirts from urban outfitters
-countless others
-blue eyeliner
-hot pink and navy striped arm warmers
-eyebrow piercing
-dark burgundy eggplant almost black hair that was supposed to be red
-a lavender diesel vest that i paid almost 200 dollars for and wore twice
-a braided embroidery floss necklace with a pop can tab that came off on "d", for deryck whibley from sum41
-jeans with lyrics written on them in black sharpie
-a "brunettes have more fun" tshirt
-a black and white l.a.m.b. jacket that my mom paid almost 300 dollars for on my birthday, i couldnt pull it off, and still cant, but i wear it sometimes just because i feel so guilty
-a white diesel puffy coat that my mom paid almost 300 dollars for at christmas. by january the sleeves were covered with black smudges from resting my arms on the desks at school
-a cut off denim skirt over leggings
-a pink off the shoulder abercrombie shirt with a stretchy black knee length skirt and white plastic old navy flip flops. i wore this outfit to the bal harbour shops in miami where my mom paid almost 200 dollars for a sleeveless watermelon lacoste polo dress that was 2 sizes too big and i wore twice
-an eastern washington university letterman jacket that my sister found at red light
-one of those fake like 1978 world tour ramones tshirts from urban outfitters
-countless others
you do what you do so well if you can't dance i can't tell
BANGS THAT COVER HALF YOUR FOREHEAD SHOULD BE BANNED FOREVERRRRRRRRRRR. i could single out some unsuspecting girl whose picture is on the first page of my google image search but this is kinder:
http://www.zipporahvaldez.com/images/customdolls/23browneyesshortbangs.jpg
poor american girl doll with the short bangs those are hella ugly.
http://www.zipporahvaldez.com/images/customdolls/23browneyesshortbangs.jpg
poor american girl doll with the short bangs those are hella ugly.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
WHAT THA TRUCK. a bit confused about this water thing. wondering if it's really doing any good, because it's consumed and that's great, but then it leaves me. and i want it to come back.
at first you think that peeing every 30 seconds is a sacrifice youre willing to make in the name of hydration but eventually its just a nuisance. honestly.
back to the alcohol/water thing...im really seeing minimal differences between the two because drinking excessive amounts of water is healthier, you could argue, but definitely just as incapacitating.
in other news: theres this guy that works out at my gym and he wears these red adidas pants that i really want. not like ugly dark red or orangey red but like fire truck red. its electrifying and i want a pair. i think i just found them on the website...... oh btw the guy is kinda hot even though he's pretty old. he has a bunch of tats all over and hes still rockin them at whatever age. love it.
in more other news: im planning on transfering to u of chicago after some amount of time at wherever, not because i want to join the "weird hipster intellectuals", but because i love the city and it's calling my name.
HEY CUTE http://www.havaianasus.com/womens-sandals/brazil-flag.html?s=9497
the brazilian flag is a mark of genius. the colors are great.
whoa i'm reading about it and not gonna lie, up until this point i thought it was a planet. with rings, like saturn. it's actually a night sky, the stars over rio on november 15, 1889, and a banner. i guess i was on the right track though.
at first you think that peeing every 30 seconds is a sacrifice youre willing to make in the name of hydration but eventually its just a nuisance. honestly.
back to the alcohol/water thing...im really seeing minimal differences between the two because drinking excessive amounts of water is healthier, you could argue, but definitely just as incapacitating.
in other news: theres this guy that works out at my gym and he wears these red adidas pants that i really want. not like ugly dark red or orangey red but like fire truck red. its electrifying and i want a pair. i think i just found them on the website...... oh btw the guy is kinda hot even though he's pretty old. he has a bunch of tats all over and hes still rockin them at whatever age. love it.
in more other news: im planning on transfering to u of chicago after some amount of time at wherever, not because i want to join the "weird hipster intellectuals", but because i love the city and it's calling my name.
HEY CUTE http://www.havaianasus.com/womens-sandals/brazil-flag.html?s=9497
the brazilian flag is a mark of genius. the colors are great.
whoa i'm reading about it and not gonna lie, up until this point i thought it was a planet. with rings, like saturn. it's actually a night sky, the stars over rio on november 15, 1889, and a banner. i guess i was on the right track though.
Friday, March 13, 2009
celebration
so i got a twitter which is the dumbest shit for anybody to use unless youre hella famous. i follow mark hoppus, gwen stefani, and michael k. gwen stefani doesnt say anything in fact its prob just like her agent or sum shit. michael k talks about celebs DUH. and mark hoppus actually updates like every 2 minutes, which is great cause now i can keep tabs on his relationship i.e. is it failing. or just his whereabouts i.e. where does he eat breakfast every day cause i'll be there.
so i'm doing this new thing where i drink hella water. i now have to pee like every 5 minutes which is no biggie when i'm sittin at home but i can think of a few situations where that could make things complicated. whateva, not gonna stress. anyway, this online calculator told me i need to be drinking 86 ounces per day. not really tryin to figure out how much that is in cups but its a lot. so my question is this: does beer count. i mean light beer tastes like water....so its like water that gets you drunk, right? i mean if you drink enough of it that is. 86 ounces should suffice.
Friday, March 6, 2009
summerboy
so im sick, which kind of came out of left field considering im usually the picture of good health. mercury must be in retrograde. that would explain a lot thats been going on lately actually......life, love, fame, obsession, denial....you get the picture.
anyway. i think i had a fever and i know this because last night i dreamed that stephanie was an animal. and not a normal animal either, she was kind of blue and round...i think i made it up. things get crazy when the temperatures go up, you know how it is.
anyway have you been keeping up with degrassi, mr hawk? if not, here's an update: holly j indirectly caused johnny to break up with alli (basically cause shes a freshman and hes a senior, so thats a little awkward) and alli was pretty heated so she made this facerange (facebook, essentially) group called "i hate holly j". 300 people joined and alli was like "I WANT TO STRANGLE HER WITH MY BARE HANDS" and so holly j got pretty upset and was like "i'm calling the cops. i'm not coming back to degrassi. nothing will ever be the same." DRAMA. i'd say alli overreacted, just because johnny is pretty weird looking. he needs to embrace the razor, as they say.
anyway. i think i had a fever and i know this because last night i dreamed that stephanie was an animal. and not a normal animal either, she was kind of blue and round...i think i made it up. things get crazy when the temperatures go up, you know how it is.
anyway have you been keeping up with degrassi, mr hawk? if not, here's an update: holly j indirectly caused johnny to break up with alli (basically cause shes a freshman and hes a senior, so thats a little awkward) and alli was pretty heated so she made this facerange (facebook, essentially) group called "i hate holly j". 300 people joined and alli was like "I WANT TO STRANGLE HER WITH MY BARE HANDS" and so holly j got pretty upset and was like "i'm calling the cops. i'm not coming back to degrassi. nothing will ever be the same." DRAMA. i'd say alli overreacted, just because johnny is pretty weird looking. he needs to embrace the razor, as they say.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
never let you go
just saw slumdog millionaire! perfect. everything i want in a movie
lets go to india, im actually down.
oh btw mr hawk i dont know if maybe youve noticed a little change in the way my journal entries are going?? like as in, im writing about true to life experiences, exactly as they happen. i mean, im not gonna go right out and say that all the shit that happened last year was lies, but there is the possibility that i may have exaggerated a little on some things. you feel me? im sure you can understand. i was really just letting loose with my creativity. i mean this is a drama class, what do you expect?
anyway, all that said, everything i wrote last year was 100% factual.
lets go to india, im actually down.
oh btw mr hawk i dont know if maybe youve noticed a little change in the way my journal entries are going?? like as in, im writing about true to life experiences, exactly as they happen. i mean, im not gonna go right out and say that all the shit that happened last year was lies, but there is the possibility that i may have exaggerated a little on some things. you feel me? im sure you can understand. i was really just letting loose with my creativity. i mean this is a drama class, what do you expect?
anyway, all that said, everything i wrote last year was 100% factual.
bibo no aozora
this song is beautiful, and such a good movie.
damn its march 3rd already? ive been writing march 2nd all day. oh well, time is just an illusion anyway.
new obsession: couchsurfing.com
you just fill out a profile and people let you sleep at their houses! steph and i have been checkin it out, theres some seriously chill people on there.
damn its march 3rd already? ive been writing march 2nd all day. oh well, time is just an illusion anyway.
new obsession: couchsurfing.com
you just fill out a profile and people let you sleep at their houses! steph and i have been checkin it out, theres some seriously chill people on there.
volcano girls
remember volcano girls by veruca salt mr hawk? prob not. theyve def got that lame chick band thing going on, but its actually kind of an intense song. i used to like it back when i thought i was BA. these days i dont think it, i know it.
anyway, things i want to do:
1. be in hawaii. maui, kauai, north shore oahu, im down for whatever. just get me to the islands.
2. audition for the bad girls club. you think im kidding, but im not.
3. go snowboarding. steph and i are hittin up whistler this weekend actually, but thats not until sunday aka 4 days from now. i guess we'll just see if i make it til then.
4. listen to "the glory" by kanye west until i cant take it anymore. what a gem. whats up with that guy anyway? i heard he wants to focus on designing or some shiz. whatev, he cant rap anymore anyway.
5. be on that game show chain reaction. have you seen the host? hes pretty cute.
6. be in a dance crew. this could prove difficult for many reasons.
7. marry mark hoppus. in order to do this i must a) sabotage his current relationship, b)....well actually im pretty sure things would just fall into place from there.
anyway, things i want to do:
1. be in hawaii. maui, kauai, north shore oahu, im down for whatever. just get me to the islands.
2. audition for the bad girls club. you think im kidding, but im not.
3. go snowboarding. steph and i are hittin up whistler this weekend actually, but thats not until sunday aka 4 days from now. i guess we'll just see if i make it til then.
4. listen to "the glory" by kanye west until i cant take it anymore. what a gem. whats up with that guy anyway? i heard he wants to focus on designing or some shiz. whatev, he cant rap anymore anyway.
5. be on that game show chain reaction. have you seen the host? hes pretty cute.
6. be in a dance crew. this could prove difficult for many reasons.
7. marry mark hoppus. in order to do this i must a) sabotage his current relationship, b)....well actually im pretty sure things would just fall into place from there.
escape
time for some word association:
blanket-warmth-maui-withdrawal-drugs-annabel dickson-mr g-celine-celine dion-lucas-douche-greg from bad girls club-amber b-shoes-boots-snowboarding-mt baker-money-job. ok this is gettin hella depressing.
blanket-warmth-maui-withdrawal-drugs-annabel dickson-mr g-celine-celine dion-lucas-douche-greg from bad girls club-amber b-shoes-boots-snowboarding-mt baker-money-job. ok this is gettin hella depressing.
sugarland
i'm currently sitting in front of stephanies tv watching emile hirsch and ryan donowho engage in inappropriate corporal contact under a coiled rubber snake hanging from the ceiling. jealous?
kidding about the corporal contact, it was just a kiss. it was pretty hot though not gonna lie.
emile hirsch is my ideal man. i heard hes dating some trendy bitch though. if hes gonna be with chicks like that he might as well just do the gay thing for real. i'd be willing to accept that as, realistically, i will probably never meet him in person. maybe some texting is in order? lol kidding. dont have his number. im sure famous people arent down with shit like that anyway.
kidding about the corporal contact, it was just a kiss. it was pretty hot though not gonna lie.
emile hirsch is my ideal man. i heard hes dating some trendy bitch though. if hes gonna be with chicks like that he might as well just do the gay thing for real. i'd be willing to accept that as, realistically, i will probably never meet him in person. maybe some texting is in order? lol kidding. dont have his number. im sure famous people arent down with shit like that anyway.
homecoming
is there anything to write about right now? correct answer: no.
steph and i are planning some mischief for this weekend. its up in the air right now but were considering heading up to bham and tp'ing lucas's house. or forking his lawn. or slashing his tires. is that a misdemeanor? whatever. the way i see it, the law is only the law if you get caught breaking it.
steph and i are planning some mischief for this weekend. its up in the air right now but were considering heading up to bham and tp'ing lucas's house. or forking his lawn. or slashing his tires. is that a misdemeanor? whatever. the way i see it, the law is only the law if you get caught breaking it.
fantasy remix
what the truck am i doing here??
i should be in maui. i hate my classes.
whatev its all good. i'll just wait til we get back to the islands.
btw i forgot to tell you that we texted luke again after that beef. i was like "ok we'll prob run into each other sometime, but until then you can work on your self confidence a little". too harsh or no?
i should be in maui. i hate my classes.
whatev its all good. i'll just wait til we get back to the islands.
btw i forgot to tell you that we texted luke again after that beef. i was like "ok we'll prob run into each other sometime, but until then you can work on your self confidence a little". too harsh or no?
better days
oh damn. SHIZ. so much to tell you.
1. we got bumped!! thats right, anotha night on the island. we got posted up at the grand wailea. likeeeee 800$/night rooms, and those are the cheap ones. whats up with this place? im not really feelin the vibes. there's hella "rich yuppies".
2. speaking of luke, i texted him yesterday b/c he didnt get back to us about riding at baker...i was like "u down" and he was like "no. leave me alone."
once again, FUX!!!! i might as well just kill myself and be spared this misery. you were right mr hawk. we pushed and he ran......like a rabbit!!
he's so NOT chill! what a fucking fake.
okay but at the same time we want to be friends with him so....
mr hawk, what would you do in my position?
1. we got bumped!! thats right, anotha night on the island. we got posted up at the grand wailea. likeeeee 800$/night rooms, and those are the cheap ones. whats up with this place? im not really feelin the vibes. there's hella "rich yuppies".
2. speaking of luke, i texted him yesterday b/c he didnt get back to us about riding at baker...i was like "u down" and he was like "no. leave me alone."
once again, FUX!!!! i might as well just kill myself and be spared this misery. you were right mr hawk. we pushed and he ran......like a rabbit!!
he's so NOT chill! what a fucking fake.
okay but at the same time we want to be friends with him so....
mr hawk, what would you do in my position?
suffragette city
fuxxxxxxxxxxxxx its our last day. we did a little shopping in lahaina with sophie. im still wanting that maui built snowboard. now we're in the airport. we're on the "please bump us" list, but i doubt we'll get lucky.
sweet honey
okay so last night steph and i stopped by this little bonfire thing at makena beach, which was cool until i set down my phone and some dude jacked it. yikessss. he drunk dialed a bunch of people from my "recently called" list. when he gave it back he said some guy was hella pissed. lucas was the only guy on the list so..... whatever, he can be chill about it or not, its up to him.
you cant blame it on anybody
okay so we wrote luke a postcard, but had to ask for his address.
anyway he also asked why i'm "so intent on knowing him". what the hell? this is confusing for multiple reasons. i mean, if i were in his position, i would totally dig someone being so interested in getting to know me. i wouldnt be like suspicious/weirded out. so i'm thinking he has some self esteem issues? i dunno....thoughts??
anyway he also asked why i'm "so intent on knowing him". what the hell? this is confusing for multiple reasons. i mean, if i were in his position, i would totally dig someone being so interested in getting to know me. i wouldnt be like suspicious/weirded out. so i'm thinking he has some self esteem issues? i dunno....thoughts??
ojos asi
so upon our arrival in maui, steph and i hit up kam 1 (duh). the same beach, almost exactly the same time last year........was the 1st time we texted lucas!! so i brought it up with him...no reply. then we were like "why do you take everything so seriously?" works like a charm, everytime. anyway he admitted that we're pretty funny, which is great. we talked a lil about hawaii.....basically we're on hella good terms now.
i need a girl part 1
okay we're officially in the car and on the way to portland. my skin is dying to be i nthe sun. i'm a total ghost lately.
stranger
new experience: i paid fucking 2.19 for a cup of tea at verite. thats the price for a BOX of tea at the store. you do the math.
king of disco
still no word from luke. whats his deal?? men are sooooooo confusing.
new experience: went to a ghs basketball game. peyton was there!! he's so hot
new experience: went to a ghs basketball game. peyton was there!! he's so hot
paper planes
maui in t-minus 5 days. i'm so effing stoked its unreal. ready to relax on the beach for a week.
new experience: went to the gym after dance. went quite well
new experience: went to the gym after dance. went quite well
we fit together
so last night steph and i were going a little webcam-crazy, in the cleanest sense of the word, on facebook. we hit up lucas and posted a vid. nothing too out of line. we just sat there with some kaskade playing in the background. really chill. i was trying really hard not to laugh, so i ended up looking hella intense. he hasnt mentioned it, or replied to my wall post!!! i dont really know what to think at this point.
what makes me feel safe: hot tea, esp. earl grey
what makes me feel safe: hot tea, esp. earl grey
lights and music
so we're not going up to baker actually. people are bailing and theres the driving issue. without louisa's "sweet ass car" aka the rover, we're kind of SOL. i'm not too distressed though; for everything there is a season
what makes me feel safe: locks and keys
what makes me feel safe: locks and keys
fearless
so we're trying to hit up mt baker again this weekend. banked slalom? im so down. louisa's gonna be competing, so we figured we should be there for moral support. finals are on sunday and you know theres no way she wont make it that far, so we'll just roll up there for the day. stoked! we're letting axel come with us this time.
what makes me feel safe: scarves
what makes me feel safe: scarves
holdin on
i dont know whats up with me lately. i dont think i've turned in a single homework assignment since the semester started. my life is a downward spiral.
what makes me feel safe: blankets
what makes me feel safe: blankets
hurt me soul
stewart, what makes me feel safe is knowing that i have role models like you to look up to and ask for advice. so my question is this: on the subject of lucas, where do i go from here? he essentially ignores me these days. should i really just give up and move on? i dont know if i can do that. its not like i havent tried before. i think im just going to be chill about the situation. playing it cool is always the best way to go. plus theres plenty of other men in my life right now. i'm far from desperate.
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